Wetting one's hair down and using the high-speed hand dryer to dry it does not yield a net improvement

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That's the lesson learned today trying to fix poofy slept-on-the-motel-floor hair at the 84 Diner in Fishkill, Pennsylvania.

Re-wet it down and it was fine.

But it would be impossible to embarrass Mom and Grandpa as long as i'm wearing the sweatshirt Eva got me: "I'm Ben. I'm kind of a big deal."

I need to go back West and continue my makeover at the hands of friends, not family...