In loving, living memory, John Melançon 1928 – 2007
Presented by Hillary Rettig, http://www.lifelongactivist.com/
(This followed up the Time Management session. Which I missed.)
Procrastination: a thief of time. (Charles Dickens)
Procrastination isn't because you are weak. It doesn't fight fair.
Read:
The War of Art - Steven Pressfield
(Yes, that way around)
Procrastination is a rational response to overwhelmed or fearful feelings, being sick, tired, to interruptions and distractions, unmotivation.
No one mentioned laziness or lack of discipline or lack of willpower or immaturity. That is correct. Those are not the causes. But when we procrastinate, isn't that often the dialogue to ourselves. And the artist and activist can add a whole moral dimension of shame: "Why are you such a bourgeoisie sellout?"
You can go home and practice-- on unimportant stuff. Show up at 6:30 and do the dishes.
I have a big chapter about what constitutes an emergency.
All of a sudden this memo I didn't write for three weeks becomes urgent. No. That's a fear-based response.
Q: Things always take longer than you schedule?
Time management is fundamental to this work. And mission management, ensuring what you're doing.
We all know someone who has a thesis to write and research to death and never write. (Eh, hmm)
Mentors are so important, though the voice in your head is usually telling you too.
Hop over the obstacle instead of getting disabled.
Take advantage of our natuarl lack of ability to manage or track time
Disassociation - spent day reading, or skimming headlines
Smart people have the most excellent rationalizations.
No shortage of causes and suffering in the world.
Decide how much time goes to your priorities, and how much is left over.
The sneakiest thing procrastination does is it mimics productive work.
Humility means grounded.
Mentors are people 5 years ahead of you on the track you want to take
Negative tendency
Lack of Resiliance
and the biggest one:
Perfectionism
- The voice of the oppressor (Ann Lamont)
Perfectionists define success narrowly, and failure broadly.
[Great! I'm not a perfectionist!]
If you do anything ambitious you have to expect failure.
I have won hundreds of chess games and lost thousands.
Monique: I'll be doing my make-up, without enough time, doesn't come out right, then i have a fit, then
Society is basically traumatizing. Pounding round pegs into square holes. Many many jobs
Bad systems blame the victim.
You didn't get the project done because I gave contradictory
The video will be available depending on how it turns out.
The bully is making an unreasonable requests and punishing you when you can't do it, procrastination is a rational response. "Screw you."
People basically listen to the bully, and these are false solutions to procrastination.
The way you get lasting behavioral change is not through punishment, but through positive reinforcement.
Short-term oppositional compliance at best.
AND we become habituated to punishment.
Problem solving is flexible, dithering is rigid.
Most problem solving takes place in community.
Crucial importance of mentors.
Wasting is wicked. It's not right to waste talent, time, energy.
Some people could turn that into a perfection
Time management is about liberty.
The solution is facing your shame.
Q: You don't mention habit?
I did talk about practicing showing up on time, starting what you are supposed to be doing.
But if you need to, also address fear underneath.
Two levels to the solution.
First, you must absolutely be able to take apart these thought processes of thinking negatively, perfectionistically, or with low resistance, and replace it with compassionate objectivity.
Include all the facts, reasons: teacher not clear, this happened, etc. And also, if it's the case, that you left it too late.
But no reason for feeling shame, regret, remorse.
Make a plan for next time.
Don't hang around people who tear you down, who aren't compassionate and open to the world. Build a community of people who will lift you up and support you at the same time you lift up and support them.
Don't have time to go into the whole expectations psychology, but we basically live up or down to the expectations of people around us.
9 a.m. on a Monday morning, you are supposed to be writing and you are not.
You do not indulge the bully ("what's wrong with me" etc.)
You have to be mindful, b
A good tool for this is journaling. Or talk into an audio tape, or call someone to work on the problem.
Once you get past the fear the solutions are trivial.
The problems themselves can be solved. Take my laptop outside.
Most people who don't do time management or anti-procrastination work think they are lacking a skill
When you do the work it is wonderful.
It's about getting rid of a block.
And so many people helping you, and so many projects, you can choose
And you can do your activism and do your art and do well by your family.
It leaves you in a much better place.
Jeff (?) talking to me afterward:
The most radical thing we can do is introduce people to one another.