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Welcome to CATSUP, The Corporation for the Advancement of Totally Stupid and Useless Projects

Latest Project: The promotion of ASCII comic strips such as Midnight Coder.

News Flash: CATSUP unilaterally condemns and declares war on acronyms more stupid and more contrived than our own, starting with the USA PATRIOT Act (it stands for “Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism”.

Catsup is the proper spelling for the beloved thick, smooth, and somewhat spicy sauce made from tomatoes.  Illegitimate variants such as “catchup” were (and are) very bad.  But when “ketchup” came into common usage, America had gone too far.  Something had to be done.

The Corporation for the Advancement of Totally Stupid and Useless Projects was formed with the restoration of the word catsup as its first totally stupid, useless, project.

There are even dictionaries that list catsup as a variant of “ketchup.”  CATSUP’s response is to blot out each travesty by pouring catsup on the offending entry, one dictionary at a time.

Naturally the Corporation endeavors first and foremost to rekindle the red hot fire of life in the venerable spelling of catsup.  Our ambition, however, knows no bounds.

Catsup News

2002 July 8, Monday, the CATSUP projects section of the web site opens with its first project: to develop True Recursion.

2002 February 10, Sunday, CATSUP issues its resolution against resolutions.

2001 November 11, Armistice Day, Sunday, the Corporation begins a new project: to support entirely excluded viewpoints.  The first installment, Bless Afghanistan, is for use on car windows, storefronts, bumper stickers, and everywhere else the related, universally prevailing message is found.

2000 November 26, Sunday, was a great day in the history of CATSUP.  Jim Davis, Garfield’s cartoonist, is hereby granted an honorary membership in the Holy Order of Defenders of the Faith.  Patronize the creation of this noble man at and look at the Sunday strip with which he earned our respect.

Some time in 2001, without his knowledge, Brian Corbin ascended to the Presidency upon a tower of sparks and swirling, flaming rocks.

1998 May 18, due to CATSUP’s efforts, and possibly before its founding, the Internet comic strip Red Meat published a strip that has nothing to do with catsup, but nonetheless included a correct spelling in its title. remote copy

Allies of Catsup

Official site of the world’s largest catsup bottle.

An unofficial site of the same.

This bottle may be made by a company (Heinz) that doesn’t know how to spell its product, but the photographer named the image perfectly.

Approved Companies

Half Moon Bay Trading Company: Iguana Lightning Hot n' Spicy Catsup.

The source of our icon, and yes all their many varieties are spelled catsup, Certified Grocers of California, Springfield.

Rogue Companies




In a sympathy strike for another oft misspelled food item, the Corporation pledges to always spell doughnut correctly.  Make that “pledges always to spell doughnut correctly,” because as part of a campaign to show hidebound adherence to antiquated Latin grammar rules, we promise to never split infinitives.  (Incidentally, if “antiquated Latin” is redundant, chalk up a victory for another CATSUP project.)

Still other projects include to:

  • Divide by zero.
  • Find out how to get to Sesame Street.
  • Translate American books into British spelling and British books into American spelling.
  • Strengthen ties between Texas and Massachusetts.
  • Make up URL names and see if web sites exist there.
  • Register or affiliate with someone who does.
  • Abolish the term limit law for presidents and encourage every president to serve as long as possible, to make history easier on schoolchildren.
  • Make decisions about history, to put some teeth in the statement “History will decide...”
  • Organize dyslexics and sue Toys 'R' Us.
  • Conduct a poll asking people if they lie to polls.
  • Actually finish a web page in order to make meaningful all those ‘under construction’ graphics.
  • Mix up objectives that are not totally stupid and useless with ones that certainly are so that no one can know for sure what is serious and what isn't.
  • Find, import, or create words that the English language sorely needs, including a word for:
    • he or she
    • what people almost always mean when they misuse "irony"
  • Ban indoor doors.
  • Return to the pretty green on white Massachusetts license plate from the ugly red on white.
  • Develop True Recursion: a computer program that writes itself.
  • Endlessly debate whether or not puns are a form of humor.